


Xenobiology 101

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Sex, Cybersex, F/F, Pesterlog, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-26
Updated: 2011-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose wants some information on the finer points of the troll reproductive process. Kanaya is only too happy to give a detailed lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Xenobiology 101

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [this prompt](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11895.html?thread=22287991#t22625655) on the kinkmeme. __

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 17:21 --

TT: Kanaya.  
TT: Could I ask your advice about something?  
GA: Certainly  
TT: I don't mean to be rude, but there are a few things I've been wondering.  
TT: And who better to ask than my favorite interplanetary informant?  
GA: Informant  
GA: Is That What I Am  
TT: Well, no, not exactly. I just meant that you've been my primary source of information with regards to the troll contingent.  
GA: Oh  
GA: I Suppose That Makes Sense Then  
GA: Although To Be Honest I Had Hoped That This Might Be An Interaction Of A Social Nature  
TT: You're right, Kanaya, I've been strictly business lately.  
TT: I apologize.  
GA: Your Apology Is Unnecessary  
GA: But Appreciated  
GA: Now  
GA: What Was It You Wanted To Ask  
TT: I had a recent conversation with Karkat.  
TT: Well, maybe it wasn't so recent. It's hard to tell with all these nonlinear conversations.  
TT: He made a comment that seemed to refer to the, er, mechanics of troll reproduction.  
TT: I assumed from context that the remark was meant to be vulgar, so I didn't bother asking him for further clarification.  
TT: But it did get me wondering.  
GA: About What Exactly  
TT: About the...specifics of your reproductive practices.  
GA: Rose  
GA: Are You Asking Me To Explain Troll Sex To You  
TT: Essentially, yes.  
TT: I've gathered that buckets have something to do with it?  
GA: Oh  
GA: Yes  
GA: They Serve As Receptacles For The Genetic Material Produced During The Sexual Encounter  
TT: I see.  
TT: So you don't ever deposit genetic material inside your sexual partners, then?  
GA: Um  
GA: Rose  
GA: That Is Probably The Dirtiest Thing Anyone Has Ever Suggested To Me  
TT: I didn't mean you specifically!  
TT: But I apologize if I've made you feel uncomfortable.  
TT: It wasn't my intention.  
GA: No  
GA: Its Okay  
GA: You Can Keep Going  
GA: I Mean  
GA: Keep Asking Your Questions I Dont Mind  
TT: If you're sure.  
TT: I wouldn't want to violate any cultural taboos.  
GA: I Dont Mind The Violation Though  
GA: Of The Taboos That Is  
GA: The Violation Of Which Really Isnt  
GA: As You Humans Would Say  
GA: A Big Deal  
TT: Good.  
TT: Now, it might be beneficial if you could, shall we say, walk me through the reproductive process.  
TT: Say I were your matesprit.  
GA: Oh  
TT: Or kismesis, I suppose, since that also seems to be a sexual relationship, but matespritship is closer to most human sexual partnerships, so it'll probably be easier for me to understand.  
TT: Baby steps here.  
GA: Well All Right  
GA: So Youre My Matesprit  
GA: For The Purposes Of This Hypothetical Educational Scenario  
TT: Right.  
GA: We Would Probably Start Out With Activities That Seem To Be The Norm For Humans As Well  
TT: Such as?  
GA: Kissing  
TT: I figured as much.  
TT: Do you use tongue?  
GA: I Usually Do But Ive Heard Some People Dont Like It  
GA: Which I Dont Really Understand  
GA: Its A Much More Sensual Experience  
GA: Oh  
GA: You Didnt Mean Me Did You  
GA: You Meant Do Trolls Do That Sort Of Thing In General  
GA: I Guess It Varies  
TT: I do value your individual input, Kanaya.  
TT: If you'd go on, I'd appreciate it.  
GA: Of Course  
TT: Do you just kiss on the lips or other places as well?  
GA: Other Places  
GA: The Neck Is An Especially Erogenous Zone  
GA: And The Spot Just Behind The Ears  
TT: So you'd kiss me there.  
GA: I Would  
GA: I Mean  
GA: If I  
GA: Yes  
TT: And then?  
TT: I'm assuming the removal of clothing would be warranted.  
GA: Yes  
TT: What next?  
GA: In Order For A Sufficient Quantity Of Genetic Material To Be Produced The Genital Area Would Have To Be Appropriately Stimulated  
TT: This is a private chat, Kanaya.  
TT: You don't have to sound like a middle school anatomy textbook.  
TT: In order to achieve the 'appropriate stimulation,' where would you like me to touch you?  
GA: Anywhere  
TT: Mmm.  
TT: Elaborate.  
GA: You Could Start With My Nook  
GA: Slowly At First  
GA: One Finger At A Time  
GA: Working Them In And Out  
GA: The Genetic Material Builds Up As I Get More Aroused  
GA: Then Id Turn My Attentions To You Of Course  
GA: You Are Similarly Equipped Are You Not  
TT: I suppose so.  
TT: We don't call it a nook, but it seems as if it amounts to the same thing.  
TT: ...This is fascinating, by the way.  
GA: Id Start Stimulating You Then  
GA: Mutual Arousal Is Of The Utmost Importance  
GA: Id Watch As Your Pupils Dilated  
GA: Your Breathing Became Shallow  
GA: And Your Cheeks Flushed With The Color Of Your Blood Beneath The Skin  
GA: Then Once You Were Ready Id Reach Down And Slide My Fingers Around Your Extended Bonebulge  
GA: And Start To Stroke It  
TT: ...  
TT: My what?  
GA: Wait  
GA: Rose  
GA: What  
GA: Do You Not Have Those  
TT: ...Oh my god.  
GA: Oh  
TT: Not exactly.  
TT: Human males have something I would assume to be similar.  
TT: Females just have...nooks, though.  
TT: Or the equivalent thereof.  
GA: That Is So Strange Rose  
GA: How Do Human Females Expel Their Genetic Material Then  
TT: We don't. We're mammals.  
TT: It means we gestate and bear live young.  
GA: Jegus That Is Strange  
GA: Although I Have Been Noticing These Days That Strange Is A Pretty Relative Term  
TT: True.  
GA: Wait  
GA: Does That Mean  
GA: Is That What You Meant About Depositing Genetic Material  
TT: Inside the female, yes.  
TT: Or whichever is the receptive partner, assuming there is one.  
TT: But for reproductive purposes, yes, the female.  
GA: Thats Kind Of Disgusting  
TT: Sorry.  
GA: No Its Just  
GA: Well It Seems So Messy  
TT: Biology mostly is, when you come right down to it.  
TT: Are you completely repulsed?  
GA: Actually No  
GA: Im Kind Of Turned On  
TT: Oh really?  
TT: Very interesting.  
GA: So How Would It Work Then  
GA: If We Were Having Human Style Sex Or Its Rough Equivalent  
TT: You prefer it rough?  
GA: Thats Not What I Meant  
TT: I'm only teasing.  
GA: I Didnt Say It Wasnt The Case Though  
TT: Huh.  
GA: Only Teasing Rose  
GA: Anyway Please Go On Explaining  
GA: Ive Just Slid My Fingers Back In And Out Of Your Nook  
GA: Its Getting Slick With Your Preparatory Secretions  
GA: That Is A Thing That Happens With You Right  
TT: It is.  
TT: Anyway. I reach down and grasp your...bonebulge, wrapping my fingers around it and sliding my hand up and down, watching your face to see your reaction.  
GA: I Let Out A Small Sigh As My Bonebulge Floods With Sensation And My Hips Jerk Toward You Involuntarily  
TT: I get down on my knees and lean forward toward you. I let my tongue flicker along the length of you, lightly at first, then taking as much as I can into my mouth.  
GA: Oh  
GA: Is That Really Something You  
GA: Go On  
TT: Your hands come down to rest on my head, tangling into my hair and tugging slightly. I emit a little moan, the sound vibrating around your exposed flesh.  
GA: Im Getting Closer To Reaching My Peak Arousal  
GA: I Look Around To See If There Is A Bucket Handy  
TT: We're not using buckets, remember, Kanaya?  
TT: Instead, I lift my head and pull away for a second, then draw you down onto the bed with me.  
GA: Is There A Bed  
TT: There often is. It's the preferred location of coitus for many.  
GA: I Lean Down To Kiss You My Tongue Slipping Between Your Lips  
TT: I reach down again to your bulge, positioning it at the opening to my shall-we-say nook.  
TT: As you slide inside, I gasp at the sensation of you filling me. You begin to rock your hips, pumping into me again and again.  
GA: Um  
GA: Wait  
TT: Your thrusts become faster and more violent, your body moving almost of its own accord as you near your climax.  
GA: I Mean Can We  
GA: Just A Minute  
TT: I can tell how close you are, and my muscles contract around you as your breathing gets harder and faster.  
TT: With a final motion, you bury yourself within me and find your release, sending a flood of your genetic material into my waiting nook.  
GA: Oh Fuck  
GA: Rose  
GA: I Just  
GA: Sdfsdfkldsfkljjjjhhh  
TT: ...  
TT: Kanaya?  
TT: Are you still there?  
GA: Yes Sorry  
GA: Problem With My Keyboard  
GA: You Were Saying  
TT: You just came.  
GA: Um  
TT: In the educational scenario, that is.  
GA: Right  
GA: I Pull Out Of You And My Bulge Retracts As The Blood Flows Away From It  
GA: I Bend Down And Press A Kiss To The Place Where Your Neck Meets Your Shoulder  
TT: I sigh with pleasure as you begin to use your fingers on me again. I'm almost there, and you know it.  
GA: Youre Hot And Wet My Genetic Material Mingling With Your Own Secretions  
GA: Your Arms Are Around Me And As You Climax Your Fingernails Dig Into My Skin Drawing Long Scratches Down My Back  
GA: I Listen To Your Heartbeat Getting Slower Your Eyelids Fluttering Half Closed  
TT: I lie back against the sheets, sated and relaxed.  
GA: I Grab A Towel And Try To Help You Clean Yourself Up  
GA: My Genetic Material Trickles Out Of You Slowly And Soon The Towel Is Stained With A Mixture Of Green And Your Human Blood Color  
TT: Er.  
TT: Kanaya, is there a key component of troll bodily fluid coloration that I have up to now been missing?  
GA: Wait What Are You Talking About  
GA: Are You Serious  
TT: Apparently I have much more to learn about troll biology than I initially thought.  
GA: This Is Getting Ridiculous  
GA: And Yet At The Same Time It Has Been Remarkably Informative  
TT: Illuminating, even.  
GA: Yes  
TT: Hmmm.  
TT: Kanaya?  
TT: If we continue this conversation a little later, can you talk me through the process with the buckets? I'm still a little unclear on that point.  
GA: With Pleasure  
GA: Anything In The Name Of Science And Intercultural Relations  
TT: Perfect. I look forward to it.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--


End file.
